And now this roller coaster called life has handed me something really quite wonderful. Part time work. Work that I can do at home two days a week. Perfect huh.
What I didn’t expect to happen when I accepted this part time work was that I would feel so much better about myself. I feel valued… for my intellect… for my knowledge… because I can do this.
I had no idea that so much of my self worth was wrapped up in my career. And really, there is nothing wrong with that… I have worked hard… And feeling this way about my work does not detract from how I feel about myself as a mother (processing all the emotions here!).
I’m actually a little worried about writing about this here, because I don’t want to jinx myself! (My ‘intelligence’ doesn’t stop superstitions it would seem!).
And we are now settling into our new rhythm. Thankfully it has been a very gentle transition for the kids since a lovely friend comes here to look after them one day, and their nana-ma looks after them the other day. In our home, where I can still help if needed, where I can still breastfeed my little one to sleep. Where I can still hear them play outside *happy sigh*
I feel really rather blessed. And I thank the universe (I’m ‘taking blessed back’)