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Parenting reflections

I’m a working mother

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Life is truly full of surprises. Not long ago I was mourning the loss of my job, and before that I was heartbroken at returning to work (and it was the same job!).

And now this roller coaster called life has handed me something really quite wonderful. Part time work. Work that I can do at home two days a week. Perfect huh.

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What I didn’t expect to happen when I accepted this part time work was that I would feel so much better about myself. I feel valued… for my intellect… for my knowledge… because I can do this.

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I had no idea that so much of my self worth was wrapped up in my career. And really, there is nothing wrong with that… I have worked hard… And feeling this way about my work does not detract from how I feel about myself as a mother (processing all the emotions here!).

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I’m actually a little worried about writing about this here, because I don’t want to jinx myself! (My ‘intelligence’ doesn’t stop superstitions it would seem!).

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And we are now settling into our new rhythm. Thankfully it has been a very gentle transition for the kids since a lovely friend comes here to look after them one day, and their nana-ma looks after them the other day. In our home, where I can still help if needed, where I can still breastfeed my little one to sleep. Where I can still hear them play outside *happy sigh*

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I feel really rather blessed. And I thank the universe (I’m ‘taking blessed back’)

Warmly, Kelly

A birth story

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On his birthday he woke early, but not too early. After he climbed into bed with us, I sleepily told him his birth story.

Around 4 in the morning on the day you were born I woke with a funny feeling in my tummy. At first I thought I had eaten something that didn’t agree with me the night before. But the strange feeling stayed and soon I was walking in figure eights through our house. Around the coffee table in the lounge room, past the kitchen and around our dinner table. Again and again. Until suddenly I had to sit. And as I sat my waters broke in a huge wave. And even though I knew what was happening I still had a moment of thinking I had wet myself (my son thought this was rather funny in my retelling).

That thought passed quickly and I went to tell your dad that our little one was on his way. He called the midwives and they asked us to come in to the birthing suite. We took our time going to the car ~ excited about meeting you earth side ~ but also wanting to stay in our space for as long as we could.

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The drive to the hospital was excruciating. I had to sit in the back seat of our car because we only had a teeny tiny car and to have the baby seat ready meant the front passenger seat had to be so far forward that no one could sit there, let alone me! I remember asking your dad to pull over – stop the car! while I worked through my contractions, but he didn’t (probably a good thing too!)

Our midwife took us through to the birthing suite and called our obstetrician. But there was no urgency on their part. They didn’t seem to think you would be with us too soon.

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But immediately I had to get my clothes off. All off. And I wanted to be in the shower. Your dad held the nozzle so the water could hammer into my lower back. ‘I have to push’ I told them. The feeling was so incredibly insistent. I used my yogic breathing to manage the contractions. And on all fours in the shower I birthed my beautiful baby boy. You were caught by your dad at 9.30 in the morning. I remember urgently asking if you were ok, is my baby ok.

You were, and I was.

As I was helped to bed my beautiful boy was placed in my arms. You were so small. So perfect. So amazing. And I brought you to my breast. The emotion of the morning was incredible.

It’s funny but I remember looking out the window and seeing our car and thinking ‘our little family will drive home in our little car soon’ and crying with the happy joyful emotion of it all. It was such an incredible morning. A morning in which I became a mother.

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After telling him his birth story, with hugs and kisses all round, we ventured out to the birthday table. Where his birthday crown and gifts awaited underneath our birthday banner. Such a happy morning *smile*

Happy days, Kelly